Can anyone give me feedback on predictive modeling for job applications?

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I have been searching for a job in data research and development with MLB teams. The crucial part of the interview process has been my having to create a predictive model based on data they give me. I recently had to predict whether a swing would be a miss or not based on information on the pitch. If you have the time, I would greatly appreciate someone to look my report over and give me tips to what I can do better next time.

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